proof

proof that this holiday season is going to be so very merry.

yessss.

starting now

starting now...

I'll be the active voice in planning my wedding.

'i don't feel well.  i'm busy.  work is overwhelming.  i'm tired.'  are all legitimate things i feel most days throughout the week.  starting now, they won't be my excuse for procrastinating.

i can't wait for the day when mark and i vow to commit our lives to one another, in front all those we love. i know, without hesitation, that day will be the most important and memorable day of my life thus far. i also want it to be a beautiful, special, and love-filled day for all of our guests. so, work is required now to ensure that happens.

i fear my procrastination has given off an air of ambivalence in regards to wedding planning.  it hit me today, and upset me. i am so excited about this day. so excited to plan. my procrastination does not mean i'm too sick or tired to handle the stress. 

so let's say goodbye to laziness! i will no longer let this happen. i'm going to plan my little heart out.  think of every little detail. contact those important people that i need to make the day go off as planned.

starting now.

scaling back

have scaled back on a couple luxuries in an attempt to keep money present and growing in my bank account. 

giving up one thing in particular has hurt the most.  a once daily (even twice daily on the rarest of occasions) treat from my favorite place, has now been scaled back to weekend only occurences.  over the week, i've gotten picture messages/emails from a handful of people sharing a new cup of joy... one that I can't wait to hold in my hand, sit in the cup holder of the car on a day filled with errands, stare at endlessly.

getting up early to head to richmond tomorrow for our premarital ministry session means we'll get to indulge.  and I will get to finally see this year's beauty in person.

cannot wait.

for me it's not just a cup.  it's a sign of what's to come.  our little reminder that the time of joy and love is quickly approaching.  we can hold on to this warm cup of cheer, sipping to keep warm.  time to get my lists made, travel arrangements settled, and to bring my ever present thoughts of holiday decorating to life.

get ready ipod. you're about to be overloaded with a whooole lot of jingle.

<<<--

prepare-enrich ministry

our journey starts tomorrow morning!

a time for thanks

so many wonderful people care about me:

care about my health, care about my happiness. a

nd i'm not sure I've ever truly gotten to express the way that makes me feel.

then this morning, I stumbled upon this:

'thankful on paper'

how fitting, how perfect.

and so I plan on embracing this project wholeheartedly,

starting this weekend.

.xoxo.

adjusting



To getting up at 5am again

To driving in to work

To being back at the Navy Yard

To all the changes that have taken place here in the nine months I've been gone
To working so so hard on a job I feel no connection to

To sitting in traffic on the way home

To being exhausted in the evenings

Seems as if so much has changed in the last week. My body is aching, my mind is tired, and I'm feeling frustrated. It has been hard coming back here. Happy to see a few friendly faces I've missed, but feeling myself wanting to be elsewhere. With a job here that's been waiting for me, and other possible opportunities become a reality, who knows where the next few months will take me?

Either way, I'll adjust.